Connecting to Hope

I am anxious to be diving into a new kind of dancing for the company.  I have started learning the solo, Universal Undertow.  I am excited to be working on a solo, a more intimate kind of rehearsal with Kathleen.  It is especially so intimate because of the subject matter—sickness.  Normally I am focused on feeling the group dynamic, finding synchronization amongst the dancers’ individualities.  Universal Undertow invites me to dig inward…really, it’s forcing me to evaluate how I feel and how that translates into my dancing.  I can’t hide behind a group consensus of how to express the movement.

Having dealt with personal sickness all my life and now my mother’s cancer/chemo, the piece plucks closely at my heart.  More than other repertory, I can very directly identify with and embody the emotions that the dance addresses.  With every movement I resonate connectivity.  I rub my stomach to soothe it and I am reminded of the times I grip my abdomen from pain.  I raise myself from the floor to sitting and I see my mother in her attempts to stand during weakness.  My tense hands throw themselves in the air before falling to the ground—a rollercoaster of built frustration and hopelessness.  Through this hopelessness I find support.  I find the ground.  I find strength.  Through this dance, I’m learning how I’m actually coping with the sickness in my family-current and past.

Lately I find it much too easy to dismiss hope and embrace despair.  But it’s hard to get away from it, especially since my mother put hope in my name.  Regardless of how much we get defeated and encounter new villains, hope endures.  Like a beacon, it moves in the rocky ocean, waiting to be seen.  Whether I pout or maintain my proactive, optimistic lifestyle, life continues throwing rocks and flowers at me.  Through writing and dancing I confront the aggravation, pain, and struggle of sickness in Universal Undertow.  Equally, we celebrate the patience and empowerment from fighting for life.  Sometimes all we have is hope…there’s nothing else tangible, no written promises.  As humans without the power of a fortune teller, we are forced to rely on this feeling and invisible light.  And in this process we gather a deeper appreciation for life’s quirks and unexpected ways, which becomes easily drowned out during our experiences.  I’m especially hopeful that the piece will reach out to all viewers in some manner, whether they are regular dance viewers, or new to the modern dance scene.  What’s most important for me here is to share my own experiences as honestly as possible so that someone else can feed from the hope I offer and possess.  I want to connect through hope.

May each day fill you with new hope and bright perspective.  Help others discover their own hope.  Go watch a ladybug crawl or listen to the wind blow.  Take advantage of the small things in life which are not actually so trivial.

Love, Whitney Hope